08-25-2022, 12:06 AM
I think I would definitely be a bit fearful. Or maybe scared would be the right word? However for me a big part of it is that fear. I would feel it swell deep in my chest as the eve of taking a blade is nigh. I feel as if I experience just a small sliver of that fear (or excitement) when I write like this or read similar stories. Buts it's always the want to take the blade that completely overtakes the fear entirely. Almost like the fear is there for fuel, daring me I won't do it thinking I won't. That I'm too scared. But through pain and willpower I prove that feeling wrong! I welcome the steel into my belly! I need it! Gritted teeth, rigid stance, brow creased in deep concentration the fear is still there but begins to fade. It's lost any claim on me as I perish mightily. I'm proving to myself and to those men around me who is more manly! I feel that feeling even now.