10-08-2019, 02:37 PM
(10-08-2019, 05:20 AM)themightyfoo Wrote: Well. I feel like I've come to this thread rather late but I can certainly empathize Chase.
As many here know, I've had a few of "our" kind of fetish blogs over the years like Blindfolded and Alone and my Tumblr blog FSQ (for Firing SQuad.) I would run them for a while then stop or purge them. I always thought of them as temporary, I suppose because I only wanted to do them while I found them entertaining. When they turned into an obligation I closed them or just walked away, sometimes taking internet breaks that lasted for years.
I've come to understand more about myself and fetishism in general through blogging. First and foremost, fetishes are incredibly specific. I once saw an extremely elaborate WW II combat video some guy did of women in French maid outfits, or two guys in aircraft fire proximity suits rutting against each other. That, plus my own experiences, taught me that it was highly unlikely that I was ever going to find someone else with exactly my fetish and that I should just focus on making myself happy rather than looking for validation from others.
I have said elsewhere that I believe I lived before, as a young soldier killed in the Pacific in WW II, and that I regard my pictures as akin to playing Army with my buddies or playing with dolls. I understand that what I am doing is trying to get back the youth (and sexuality) I lost in that lifetime when it was cut short. I think I must have only been 18 or 19 when I died, and I mourn for that young man who was barely even starting out in life, and likely still a virgin. So my renders are a kind of therapy to me. The themes of death of the innocent, the boy who becomes a man by dying like one, and men bonding by dying together as comrades sums up pretty much my entire portfolio. I suppose that's why, in this lifetime, I get as far away from war and violence as I can possibly get.
It seems with at least three of us there is a common theme here: of other lives lived with violence somewhat and lives cut short or some unfinished business or sexuality involved in some way. More later.