Chase pictures removed ?

[themightyfoo]

Well. I feel like I've come to this thread rather late but I can certainly empathize Chase.

As many here know, I've had a few of "our" kind of fetish blogs over the years like Blindfolded and Alone and my Tumblr blog FSQ (for Firing SQuad.) I would run them for a while then stop or purge them. I always thought of them as temporary, I suppose because I only wanted to do them while I found them entertaining.  When they turned into an obligation I closed them or just walked away, sometimes taking internet breaks that lasted for years.

I've come to understand more about myself and fetishism in general through blogging. First and foremost, fetishes are incredibly specific. I once saw an extremely elaborate WW II combat video some guy did of women in French maid outfits, or two guys in aircraft fire proximity suits rutting against each other. That, plus my own experiences, taught me that it was highly unlikely that I was ever going to find someone else with exactly my fetish and that I should just focus on making myself happy rather than looking for validation from others.

I have said elsewhere that I believe I lived before, as a young soldier killed in the Pacific in WW II, and that I regard my pictures as akin to playing Army with my buddies or playing with dolls. I understand that what I am doing is trying to get back the youth (and sexuality) I lost in that lifetime when it was cut short. I think I must have only been 18 or 19 when I died, and I mourn for that young man who was barely even starting out in life, and likely still a virgin. So my renders are a kind of therapy to me. The themes of death of the innocent, the boy who becomes a man by dying like one, and men bonding by dying together as comrades sums up pretty much my entire portfolio. I suppose that's why, in this lifetime, I get as far away from war and violence as I can possibly get.

It seems with at least three of us there is a common theme here: of other lives lived with violence somewhat and lives cut short or some unfinished business or sexuality involved in some way. More later.

I've had similar discussions on other boards in the past and was quite surprised by the apparent prevalence of these experiences. Not everyone reported fighting as an element - one guy related memories of dying in a fire; another in a fall; another in an airship disaster. The connection with the fetish isn't always obvious. For example, being shot by an arrow then falling might pertain to the fall, not the arrow. The arrow may be symbolic of something else. I seem to have something similar going on - I find myself drawn to the WW II outfits even more strongly than the specific details of my character's deaths. If anything, the form of death - firing squad, usually - seems to be more of a rite of passage thing, of the psychological and symbolic importance of dying like a man. Many of my scenes involve two guys who die together in a kind of brotherhood of death.

I've spent probably 50 years searching and researching these memories I have from my childhood. They are not hypnosis induced (that past-life regression method is somewhat problematic.) What I have learned is that it isn't uncommon for children to have these memories but most forget them eventually. Mine stuck around. I don't think we are supposed to remember. I think with each new lifetime we are supposed to let go and move on. Even so, traces linger in the present life especially of violent deaths. In my reading I came across some fascinating case studies of children in the former Burma who claim to have been Japanese soldiers who died in the war. Myanmar is a Buddhist country so reincarnation is not viewed as derisively as in the West but even so, these children were treated as outcasts because the Japanese are hated for their wartime abuses. There are recorded cases of these children running up to Japanese tourists and begging to come home with them, in at least one case in the Japanese language.

[CHASE]

Well. I feel like I've come to this thread rather late but I can certainly empathize Chase.

As many here know, I've had a few of "our" kind of fetish blogs over the years like Blindfolded and Alone and my Tumblr blog FSQ (for Firing SQuad.) I would run them for a while then stop or purge them. I always thought of them as temporary, I suppose because I only wanted to do them while I found them entertaining.  When they turned into an obligation I closed them or just walked away, sometimes taking internet breaks that lasted for years.

I've come to understand more about myself and fetishism in general through blogging. First and foremost, fetishes are incredibly specific. I once saw an extremely elaborate WW II combat video some guy did of women in French maid outfits, or two guys in aircraft fire proximity suits rutting against each other. That, plus my own experiences, taught me that it was highly unlikely that I was ever going to find someone else with exactly my fetish and that I should just focus on making myself happy rather than looking for validation from others.

I have said elsewhere that I believe I lived before, as a young soldier killed in the Pacific in WW II, and that I regard my pictures as akin to playing Army with my buddies or playing with dolls. I understand that what I am doing is trying to get back the youth (and sexuality) I lost in that lifetime when it was cut short. I think I must have only been 18 or 19 when I died, and I mourn for that young man who was barely even starting out in life, and likely still a virgin. So my renders are a kind of therapy to me. The themes of death of the innocent, the boy who becomes a man by dying like one, and men bonding by dying together as comrades sums up pretty much my entire portfolio. I suppose that's why, in this lifetime, I get as far away from war and violence as I can possibly get.

It seems with at least three of us there is a common theme here: of other lives lived with violence somewhat and lives cut short or some unfinished business or sexuality involved in some way. More later.

I've had similar discussions on other boards in the past and was quite surprised by the apparent prevalence of these experiences. Not everyone reported fighting as an element - one guy related memories of dying in a fire; another in a fall; another in an airship disaster. The connection with the fetish isn't always obvious. For example, being shot by an arrow then falling might pertain to the fall, not the arrow. The arrow may be symbolic of something else. I seem to have something similar going on - I find myself drawn to the WW II outfits even more strongly than the specific details of my character's deaths. If anything, the form of death - firing squad, usually - seems to be more of a rite of passage thing, of the psychological and symbolic importance of dying like a man. Many of my scenes involve two guys who die together in a kind of brotherhood of death.

I've spent probably 50 years searching and researching these memories I have from my childhood. They are not hypnosis induced (that past-life regression method is somewhat problematic.) What I have learned is that it isn't uncommon for children to have these memories but most forget them eventually. Mine stuck around. I don't think we are supposed to remember. I think with each new lifetime we are supposed to let go and move on. Even so, traces linger in the present life especially of violent deaths. In my reading I came across some fascinating case studies of children in the former Burma who claim to have been Japanese soldiers who died in the war. Myanmar is a Buddhist country so reincarnation is not viewed as derisively as in the West but even so, these children were treated as outcasts because the Japanese are hated for their wartime abuses. There are recorded cases of these children running up to Japanese tourists and begging to come home with them, in at least one case in Japanese language.

All very interesting. Thank you!